sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
