so explain again why im purple
no
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
