Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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