I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
