Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
