you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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