This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
this hospital has no fireball
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
