i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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