Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
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