Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
