Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Randomize