You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
My first STD was from a foam party
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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