Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize