he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
