Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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