the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
