Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
