I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
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