nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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