i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
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