giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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