I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I think a kid would responsible me up
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
