I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
