After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Randomize
