please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
