please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Randomize
