We should be called the Road Head Warriors
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Randomize
