:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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