So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
