I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
