so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
is wine microwaveable?
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
