But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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