Dual....:-)
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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