I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
