i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
