Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
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