I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Randomize