You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
