I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
