You work out of a Hotel?
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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