he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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