Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
