No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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