Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
