we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Enjoy the penises
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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