Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
