the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
