Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
