That's intense
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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