they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I'm way too hungover for life right now
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
