New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
