he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Randomize
