I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
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