Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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