i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Randomize
