Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I just want nice things and good sex
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
