so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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