he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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