Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize