Four minutes until I can fart!
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
