yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
