Whoa Z and x make the same sound
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize