Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
