So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
