Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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