she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
