Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
